The Good , The Bad and The Ugly

​I've written many stories about our daughter, Kaidan and her cancer story. I've chronicled her diagnosis, the treatment, the aftermath. I've discussed the financial strain, the chronic health conditions, and the medical errors we've dealt with. I don't really know what to write about today. I could write endlessly about our lives, before cancer and after cancer. There is no shortage of sadness and pain. There is also no shortage of life lessons and happiness.

The truth is, cancer brings out the very worst experiences you'll ever have, and it highlights the very best things in life. As a 'cancer family', you get to witness humanity. You become hypersensitive to the important things in life. You gain new friends who will build you up when you cannot do it alone. It's an amazing, horrible, ugly, beautiful thing - all at the same time.

In June 2007, Kaidan was diagnosed with a high risk form of leukemia (T-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), at the age of 5. She completed her treatment in November 2009 and is currently cancer free. Depending on where you get your statistics, you could probably consider her 'cured', although I won't look at it that way until November 9, 2019 - 10 years after her last chemotherapy.

As a result of the ridiculously harsh treatments available for childhood cancer, Kaidan is now plagued with chronic health conditions. She has severe GI issues, and has been hospitalized multiple times with internal bleeding. Her bones are weak and she has had surgeries to try and rebuild and strengthen them. She never feels good, she's always tired, and she is always in pain. Imagine that life - as an adult it would be horrific, but as a 15 year old, it's unfathomable. She should be living life, enjoying every moment. And she does - to some degree. But it's mostly for show. Sometimes, she just can't do it. She just can't keep up with the life that she's supposed to lead. It's exhausting - pretending that you feel good, pretending you aren't in pain.

We don't know what the future holds for Kaidan. I suppose we don't know what it holds for any of us, but hers seems especially uncertain. So we choose to recognize the good things and hope for greater things. You will never see Kaidan without a smile on her face - ever. She is an example of perfection, as are all of these kids - the fighters, the survivors, and the angels.
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Mystee Sudbury